When I'm Retired

I have been thinking about things I want to remember when I retire, such as:

• I want to remember how busy life is for those still working and how hard it is to squeeze all the daily demands into those 24 hours---work, home life, kids, chores, remembering birthdays and to send cards, keeping up friendships, visiting family members, responding to church obligations, writing thank-you notes, etc., etc.  And I want to remember that I have more time than those still working and so should offer to help whenever possible.
• I want to remember that I think I'm still busy but that I'm not really; at least not as busy as those still trying to hold down jobs in order to take care of a family.  I'm the one with more time, so I need to be the one to take initiative and do more to help those busier than me; I need to go visit my kids, because I'm retired with more time, and it is much more difficult for them to come to me.
• I want to remember not to make my children feel guilty if they don't come to visit me as often as I think they should, because they are trying to hold everything together and raise families and work jobs.  I need to make the effort to go see them.
• I want to remember how much it would help my family members if I did things for them that they never would request, like go clean their house one day so they can come home to a clean-smelling house and less worry and guilt over the dirt they don't have time to clean, or cook a nice dinner and take it to them, so maybe they can get a little more rest for one evening.  Little things mean a lot.  I want to remember that.
• I want to remember that no matter how old my children get, they still need to feel accepted, loved and worthy by their parents.  They will still need my advice and my help.  I didn't retire from being their parent.  I will go visit them often, but I will let them know I'm coming and make sure it is convenient for them.  I won't get offended if "today is not a good day."  I will be happy if they are doing something fun, so they won't be home to see me today--I will celebrate that they have a chance to enjoy themselves.
• I want to remember how nice it is to have some time away from children, and I will offer to babysit often.  
• I want to remember not to judge and criticize my children's parenting styles, but to offer advice only when it is wanted and asked for.  
• I want to remember to spoil my grandchildren and to remember that, like my own children, they won't stay little for long, so I will take them for ice cream, take them on trips when possible, go see their plays and they ball games, etc.  I will make memories with them that they will have when I'm gone.  
• I want to remember to spoil my grandchildren but to remember that I, too, am a role model and a teacher to them.  I will talk to them about God.
• I want to remember that when I am older I have more time to volunteer, and as long as I am able, I should still be making a positive difference in the world.  If I'm still here and able, God has me here for a reason, and I shouldn't get lazy or complacent or feel entitled to laziness.  I'm retired, not dead.

Ready, Set, Slow

Ready, Set, Slow

One of the biggest mistakes I believe I made as a parent was frequently telling my children to “hurry up!”  The problem is, I’m still telling myself to “hurry up!”  Hurrying up is stressful.  Read this excerpt from http://www.newhopenow.org/. 

“Hurrying is a problem for us when we live our lives in a continual state of urgency, viewing daily stresses as emergencies.  Hurrying from one thing to the next, each more "imperative" than the last.  Doing two or three things at once to save time.  Jumpstarting ourselves with caffeine (an adrenaline stimulant) to get going in the morning, to stay alert in the afternoon, or to get psyched up before a meeting.  Passing cars on the freeway.  Counting people's items in the "short order" grocery line.  Thinking about what we else have to do when someone is talking to us. Then grinding our teeth at night as we worry about all that we didn't get done! 

Living under the pressure of urgency or being keyed up is costly.  In addition to experiencing the periodic unpleasant withdrawal symptoms of not being constantly hurried (a compulsion to get busy, be more productive, or be stimulated with noise or activity; emptiness, boredom, and depressed mood; feelings of guilt about being idle; irritability or loss of temper;  worrying about work that needs to be done; fidgetiness or restlessness (e.g., pacing, finger or foot tapping, fast gum chewing); utter exhaustion), people who live with adrenaline surging through their bodies regularly suffer from things like anxiety, rapid heartbeats, headaches, backaches, gastric distress, and sleep problems.  And they dramatically increase their risk of stress-related illnesses ranging from viruses and ulcers to heart disease and cancer.

I think that the most serious consequence of an adrenaline-driven lifestyle (one with eternal significance) is that it crowds out God and His blessings.  You become a "human-doing" instead of a human being.  Life is lacking in the things that are most enjoyable and meaningful: loving relationships, delightful experiences, creative expression, passionate pursuits, and spirituality.  God, when you do focus on Him, seems distant and unconcerned or like a harsh taskmaster.”

So what is the answer to all of this hurrying?  First, pray about your life, your schedule, and your priorities.  If you don’t spend time with God each day, you won’t be in balance (your desire to jump right in and tackle everything yourself will tip the scale toward frustration and stress because you didn’t involve God in your planning)—God helps us even with our day-to-day activities, but only if we ask Him and include Him in the planning of our activities.  Jesus felt led to pray.  Mark 1:35  “Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray.”  Matthew 14:23 “After sending them home, Jesus went up into the hills by himself to pray.”  Matthew 26:36  “Then Jesus went with them to the olive grove called Gethsemane, and he said, ‘Sit here while I go over there to pray.’  So praying is a great place to start slowing down.  

Next, realize that God doesn’t hurry, and He accomplishes what needs to be accomplished in His timing.  I believe that hurrying can actually be counterproductive.  If we take rest breaks throughout the day, we tend to feel more motivated once we get back to tasks.  When you are on your death bed, what will you regret taking time to do?  Will it be cleaning, organizing, working?  No, you know the answer!  You will probable regret slowing down to take time for loved ones and to enjoy the many blessings God gave you!  So Get Ready, Get Set, Slow Down, and I’ll practice doing the same myself!

Our children

I wonder if perhaps one reason why our young people find themselves caught up with problems with drugs, alcohol and violence is because they lack a sense of hope. Perhaps this has been OUR unfortunate legacy to them...
...teach them to take responsibility for the choices they make. If we structure opportunities for children to experience success in taking such responsibility, we also create opportunities to affirm them at every turn. The children grow in self-respect and develop positive self-concepts. They begin to feel confident and hopeful.
I wonder what our lives would be like if we used this approach, not only with our children, but with everyone in our lives. If instead of giving into our NATURAL inclination to judge, we made the choice to affirm others whenever we can. If instead of CHOOSING to see the glass half-empty, we choose to look at it half-full. Perhaps if we lived like this, we'd find our community built up and our children happy.  ~Philip M. Kanfush, O.S.B.

Scattered Like Leaves

SCATTERED LIKE LEAVES

Finally, I was able to take my preschool students outdoors yesterday to play.  It was even warm enough to shed our coats.   However, it was rather windy.  At one point during their play, the children noticed a large gust of wind blowing dead leaves through the air—here, there, and everywhere.  The leaves went where the wind took them.  One little boy, enjoying the frequent gusts of wind, spread his arms wide and yelled, “This is a great day to learn how to fly!”

Our thoughts, worries and concerns can be like those dead leaves—negative, unfocused, scattered here, there and everywhere—going wherever our current emotional state takes them.  The alternative is to try to deal with our troubles and find a way to rise above them.  But how is this achieved?  Let’s visit our Great Counselor and see what He has to say about worry:

·         Matthew 6:25-34  “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food or drink, or enough clothes to wear.  Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?  Look at the birds.  They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your Heavenly Father feeds them.  And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?  Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?  And why worry about your clothing?  Look at the lilies in the field and how they grow.  They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.  And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, He will certainly care for you.  Why do you have so little faith?  So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat?  What will we drink?  What will we wear today?  These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your Heavenly Father already knows all your needs.  Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.  So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.  Today’s trouble is enough for today.

·         Matthew 8:26  “Why are you afraid?  You have so little faith.”

·         Luke 24:34  “Don’t let your hearts be dulled…by the worries of this life.  Pray that you might remain strong.”

·         1Peter 5:7  “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.”

·         Proverbs 12:25  Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.

·         Philippians 4:6  Don’t worry about ANYTHING; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 

Like shedding our coats on a warm day, we must learn to shed the weight of our worries.  The world cannot help us do this.  The only One capable and truly willing to help is Jesus.  Instead of going through your day with your thoughts scattered, learn to focus—to focus on Christ and His promises to us, His teachings, His desires for us.  This takes practice.  If it takes posting STOP signs around your house, in your car, at your workplace (although you might be considered strange by your coworkers-hee!), do it!  Post STOP signs to remind you to STOP; now refocus your thoughts!  Stop your worries, and focus on Jesus.  Memorize Scripture verses about worry.  Post them on your refrigerator, on your car’s dashboard, and on your work desk. 

Think about those leaves scattering outdoors, and make a conscious decision to “rake” your concerns together and put them in a pile before God.  He will help you get rid of them, but you must ask Him.  If you ask and continue to worry, you lack faith.  Ask God even for this – more faith and trust.  He made us, he understands our weaknesses, and He knows we are like babies who grow in baby steps.  He’ll help you and guide you.  Stay focused on Him, not your troubles!  Now, take time to notice.  Notice what?  All God has done for you in the past and all He is doing for you now.  Did you wake up today?  God did that!  Look diligently for all the beauty and good things happening all around you every day-even a flower blooming!  The world focuses on the negative, so Christians have to diligently look for and focus on positive things.  Be aware of what you are reading, watching on television, listening to music-wise.  In order to be positive, you must focus on the positive—Philippians 4:8 tells us, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing.  Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.  Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  

Like the little boy who spread his arms in the wind so he could practice “flying,” Jesus spread His arms for us on the cross.  Like children who spread their arms out to show a parent how much they love them, Jesus did so for us to show us how much He loves us.  When you see a picture of Jesus’s arms spread wide open and nailed to the cross, be reminded of how much He loves you.  Then, like the little boy in the wind, consider it a” great day to learn how to fly”—to fly above your worries—by depending on Christ’s love for you!

Hoarding

Hoarding

Hoard:  a supply that is hidden or carefully guarded for future use (Webster). Synonyms:  stockpile, reserve, cache, store, stock. 

Greed:  excessive or rapacious desire, esp. for wealth. (Webster).

Television shows about hoarders are popular to watch today.  We are fascinated by how much “stuff” a person can accumulate in one house.  Most of us aren’t extreme hoarders, but many of us do say we have too much stuff in our homes.  So why don’t we just get rid of it if we do not use it?  When discussing this topic with friends, I hear “I might need the stuff one day,” or “I have memories attached to the stuff,” or “it was a gift so I feel guilty getting rid of it,” even “I don’t know what all I have and don’t have time to dig through it all.”  I have to admit that I say the same things about my stuff.  I don’t like to think of it, however, as being greedy, but perhaps it is a more subtle type of greed.  I don’t consciously think “I won’t share!” 

I also hear from people that having too much stuff makes them feel anxious, overwhelmed, tired and guilty, and I know that feeling as well.  Sometimes we just want all that extra stuff to be gone!  Have you ever heard someone who has just taken a bunch of stuff to an outreach say, “I feel so much lighter and better since I got some of that stuff out of my house?” 

What does the Bible say about greed (even our subtle greed)?

Ø  Proverbs 15:27:  Greed brings grief to the whole family…

Ø  Proverbs 1:19:  Such is the fate of all who are greedy for money; it robs them of life.

Ø  Ephesians 5:5:  You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God.  For a greedy person is an idolater, worshipping the things of this world.

Ø  Colossians 3:5:  So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you.  Have nothing to do with sexual immorality , impurity, lust and evil desires…

Ø   

I believe there is more than one way to hoard.  Along with hoarding “stuff,” we hoard our emotions, our words of kindness, our forgiveness, our talents, our time and our love.  What are our excuses for this type of hoarding?  “I might get hurt,” “they don’t deserve my forgiveness,” “I’m too shy,” “I’m too busy,” “I don’t know how,” etc., etc.  Do we hoard these things even from our Creator God?  God created us to be “givers” like Himself. 

Keeping our fellow man a priority over all of our “To-Do Lists” is very difficult in today’s world.  But we lose sight of what (really WHO) is truly important in our lives if we don’t consciously (daily) think about what is most important to pay attention to each day.  Life is all about balance.  Do you balance time for others with your “To-Do List” of things to get done?  Take time each day for what is most important:  to fellowship with God, to share what is on your heart with Him, to pray, praise, and thank Him.  Stop hoarding your words with people!  Don’t be afraid to give a compliment, thank a waitress for a job well done, tell the bagger at the store to have a great day, call a friend or relative just to say hello, read an extra book to your child, or visit an elderly neighbor.  Let’s be aware of all that we are hoarding in our lives and strive daily for more balance.  We might need to shorten our “To-Do Lists” to only those things that truly matter.  Things will always be there, but people won’t.  Share your “stuff”, but also your time, your talents, and your heart with others.  You might just end up getting rid of some anxiety.  Remember, greed robs you and grieves not only you but your whole family!  We can’t afford to be greedy.  It costs too much!

Each New Day

This is a devotional that was posted on His Hands & Feet website one day this past week, and it inspired me, so thought I'd share here for others who might read it.

EACH NEW DAY

Life is a journey and not a home; a road, not a city of habitation. And the enjoyments and blessings we have along the way are but little inns on the roadside, where we may be refreshed for a moment, that we may with new strength press on to the goal.

You will meet today ten men or women; perhaps twenty, or perhaps a hundred. Everyone of them will have his or her day brightened or darkened by the tone and manner of your greeting. You can put a little more spring into the step and little more joy into the heart of every one of them by a cheerful salutation.

Any worthwhile accomplishment, large or small, has its stages of drudgery and triumph, a beginning, a struggle and a victory. A few wise friends with whom to counsel, a few good books to read and absorb, and with courage and faith we are well equipped for the facing of life's diffficulties and disappointments, as well as its pleasures and successes.

Lives are made of chapters After one is written it cannot be revised, but we can write a new chapter with each new day.

P. Brooks

Baby Steps

I believe making positive and healthy changes in our lives involves baby steps.  Once a baby learns to walk, they get where they want to go by taking small steps towards their destination.  Likewise, to get where we want to be as far as health, we need to take small steps.  I found these little helpful ideas in my Better Homes and Garden magazine and thought I'd share:

Some metabolism-boosting foods and drinks:  white tea and green tea; dark chocolate; Greek yogurt; eggs; lentils; chick peas; red pepper flakes added to salads.

• Eating fiber (berries, whole grains, brown rice, veggies, quinoa) helps slow the rate at which sugar and simple carbs enter the bloodstream and can boost your metabolism up to 35%.
• The body is burning calories fastest between breakfast and lunch so eat less at dinner and evening.  
• Plan what you are going to eat and how much before you eat it.  
• Over 50 people should interval train since our stamina lessons as we get older.  Short burst of activity is good. 
• Take rest periods throughout the day boosts metabolism because the stress hormone cortisol gets lowered
• CoQ10 boosts metabolism in those over 50—pill form or found in liver, herring, mackerel.  Check with your doctor first to see if you should add it to your diet.
• Inflammation-fighting foods:  whole grains, fruits, veggies, salmon, walnuts, foods rich in omega-3's
• 30 minutes of shopping burns 81 calories (just in case you were wondering--hee!)
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